Please No, Anything But Ranch-Flavored Ice Cream

We’re only three months in, and 2023 is making out to be quite a wild year, especially regarding product drops.

Thanks to Hidden Valley, the year’s unhinged agenda forges on with the brand’s new ranch-flavored ice cream. Read it as many times as you want, but it’s a thing (unfortunately).

March 10 was a busy one. Mario lovers recognized the date as Mario Day (MAR10), which saw Nintendo and Red Wing unveil a pair of real-life Mario boots. For the ranch heads, however, March 10 marked National Ranch Day, where Hidden Valley announced its new, wild creation.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CpnOFGlglNK/

Hidden Valley’s ranch ice cream is actually part of a collaboration with Brooklyn-based ice cream maker Van Leeuwen. The family-ran chain is no stranger to unusual-tasting scoops, having previously collaborated with Kraft for a mac-n-cheese ice cream flavor.

Don’t get me wrong. I love ranch dressing on salads and dipping for my pizza, wings, fries, etc. But the idea of converting tastes of mayo, buttermilk, garlic, and chives into a frozen dessert is where I draw the line.

Sorry, Hidden Valley. I won’t be making space in the freezer for this collab (I kept making a nauseating face throughout the process of writing this). But I’m sure there are a few ranch obsessives and just plain curious minds that will be more than happy to brave the scoops of ranchy tang.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpq5FLrLQeR/

With a reported price tag of $4.98, the Van Leeuwen x Hidden Valley Ranch ice cream lands at Walmart stores starting on March 20.

Not feeling the ranch vibes? No worries, Van Leeuwen will also drop off more understandable flavors like Sweet Maple Cornbread, Carrot Cake, Strawberry Shortcake, and Limoncello Cake.

Perhaps, all hope for humanity isn’t just lost yet.